feeling emo again.. the title writes catching up, and i am prepared to write a whole list of things that is going thru my mind for the past few days..

firstly, manage to catch up with bennett, sam, jun hong, salvin and oswald.. the reason on why me manage to meet up is because bennett is leaving for perth to study accountancy.. how we manage to meet up is a miracle itself.. at first, oswald and bennett and sam wanted to meet up and haf a good chat over a meal before bennett flies off.. oswald and bennett always have been keeping close contact with wach other as they live near to each other and their moms noe each other as well.. after tt, sam asked jun hong if he wanted to join in, and of cuz he gladly agreed.. oswald asked me to come along as well, as i have been maintaining contact with him.. salvin was being invited by jun hong, which makes the whole event v interesting.. i had no contact with salvin at all before hand.. the last time we met was like 2 yrs ago, and tt was, as sam put it, he haven entered army yet.. so it became a mini-1c-cum-farewell-dinner thing..

to up the ante, when we entered billy bombers, we were sitting right next to tay chye huat without us realising it.. tch is our sec 1 form teacher.. and he left shortly when we were in sec 2, for unknown reasons.. tt time was when he took frequent fri leave.. rumour has it that he went to phillipines to find his irc girlfriend.. throughout the dinner, we were catching up, and shunning away from tch (as he was famously loud and nonsensical and haf those kiddy antics), covering our face with the menu.. after tt, i went up to catch up with him and he could still remember us amazingly.. he says that he is currently teaching in st hilda's.. after we went to coffee bean and sat down and talk bout our class stuff and ahs times.. we were trying hard to recall who were in our class and wat they were doing currently.. here is the list, according to my knowledge..

xiao feng- in nus studying maths, in dean's list
wee inn- attached and in ntu
su hui- slimed down
yvonne- went poly, after tt never saw her again
benjamin- well, saf reg, in ntu studying computer engine(well, colleague leh.. dunno got prob liao)
kenneth chew- in ntu studying mass com
you rong- cassanova in poly
zheng yi- met him in ndp rehearsal, after tt no idea where he went to
carolyn - according to lay ping, she's engaged already (will come to lay ping later)
yi san- went rj, now in nus studying law
aya- juz broke up, according to salvin, she wanna go back to japan and treat herself, as she claims she is sick
bee shin- in uni
yu xin- in uni as well
daniel- unavailable, last time noe him tt he went to vj
ai ping - sam has her contacts in myspaces, but dunno wat she is doing now..
jason- left ahs after sec 2 and currently mia (we only had hp in sec 4)
benson- no idea
lay ping- in sim now (will come to tt later)
yong zheng- heard he got fatter and is attached currently
eng hui- no idea
lydia- no idea
chew ngee(qiu yi) - in uni now, was with andrew but broke up already
christina- no idea
ting yan- no idea
hui fen- no idea (forgotten wat sam said already)
tee rong- in ntu now but no has any idea to wat happened to her after she left ahs
hor yen- jun hong saw her one fine day and feels tt she is v tomboyish
wei qin- now studying in australia, speech therapy(i lived near her)
wan hui- in ntu studying tcm
salvin- ord and working, entering ntu this yr
oswald- working and entering laselle(SIA) studying music
jun hong- ord in oct and entering ntu next yr
sam- june ord and entering ntu chem and biological sciences this aug

to those i left out, these pple prob are prob really low profile, so low tt 6 of us haf no idea wat happened to u already.. sorry ah..

after tt, we were discussing about sending bennett off on the day itself.. i had to rush off from ntu, catching the 1st bus, and travel across the island, juz to send him off.. jun hong and salvin cant make it cuz jh cant take off from his camp, and salvin had to start work at 7am.. it was really lethargic for me, and i really slept the whole journey throughout, as i had catch the man u lyon match, and thus i did not sleep.. the trip was really worth it.. we chatted over there, with bennett's relatives as well.. den when we were at the gate, and we watched bennett walking towards the gate, his mom was commenting that she was grateful that we manage to travel all the way to send him off, and the fact that we had not been in contact for a long time.. and she added that it had been 5 yrs since bennett's father passed away, and she saw how bennett changed alot.. from a chubby guy to a slimmer guy who runs alot, keeping fit as well.. how she saw him overcome depression.. his father would want him to continue his education and not give up..

for some reason, at that moment, i wanted to tear.. seriously.. cuz seeing him transforming makes my heart ache, after when u noe bout wat he had gone thru.. i saw his mother wanted to tear as well, when she saw her son leaving for his flight..

this is bout catching up, part 1..

after tt, sam uploaded the pics onto facebook and lay ping saw the photo, and thot we were going for a holiday, and dropped a msg.. i went to contact her and after we started chatting in msn, we decided to meet up.. and tt was like yesterday only.. she switched sch from ahs to assumption english cuz she shifted house during sec 1.. we went to cafe cartel for lunch at IMM, and sat there for like at least 3 hrs.. chatted how our lives changed and wat happened to her over in the west and told her bout wat happen to us back in ahs after she left.. as we din haf hp when we were sec 1, we had no pt of communication at all.. email wasnt the 'in' thing at all.. and to realise tt we were big fans of reality tv, esp survivor and amazing race.. and we spent almost half the time talking bout it.. she joined badminton back in sec sch and quit and joined peer leader team, or sth along the line lah.. in jjc, she retained 1 yr, and joined bowling which she complained bout how it was being shut down after she left the sch.. currently studying business UOL in sim.. there were alot of unspoken things which i noe but din wanna mention bout it, and hopefully she did not discover it.. i read her blog and i realised tt she juz broke up last yr and wrote how she still missed the guy.. i din wanna hurt her, so i juz proudly declare that im single.. to set the record str, that is.. we were talking bout our lives, siblings, travelling overseas, cca, army stuff, reality tv... almost everything under the sun.. the feeling that she gives me is that she is still that bubbly girl that i have known ever since 9yrs ago.. and surprisingly, we manage to find common topics to chat bout.. its been a long time since i have talked to a girl so comfortably, ever since oac times with xiao hong and wan ling.. normally, i would go 'erm, yah, true, aiyah'.. u noe, i suck at making girls happy, which girls really need.. prob found another v gd chatting buddy.. haha..

for some reason, i like heart-to-heart talks.. like sitting down in a pub and start talking bout stuff and life.. prob it is my cup of tea.. prob im more pessimistic bout things..

prob tts all bout updates and catching up.. up till now, i still rem tt scene where bennett's mom narrating bout his story to me and sam.. its unforgettable.. its been 9 yrs ever since we first met.. pple change, as we grow up.. as lay ping put it, 'now we think tt being engaged and getting married is a noble idea, when we were 21.. when we are 25, 26, esp for girls, the alarm bells would start to ring and suddenly, pple ard us r getting married.. and tt is 4 to 5 yrs time..'

go figure..

' the world continues to spin' , 2:03 am



hi, im back.. people have been asking me why i have stopped blogging.. and it is naturally that those pple are those who noe tt i haf a blog.. i read a few of my entries back bout half a yr ago, and i realise how things change amazingly.. at the same time , i do realise what the 'butterfly effect' is all about.. when i 1st heard bout this theory, i thought it was just another novelist trying to make a name by saying something extract..

initially, if i have strived to work hard and for better scholarship, i wont be sitting down here in ntu, worrying about cashflow prob.. if i had made full use of the money that i earned outside and not talked all the big theories about how mature i have become, maybe i might haf gotten the breakthrough that i want.. if i haf reacted fast enough, i would have a nicer figure in my bank account.. if only...

for the past half a year, i haf entered uni, started studying again, trying to find my way ard in this big and alien campus, went holiday in japan but did not enjoyed much, and found out tt my grades r act at e bottom of my course, and to top it off, i haf encountered e worst cashflow prob of my life.. i thot i was gd and smart enough to think ahead, but i guess somebody out there wants to teach me a lesson.. for the past 3 mths, i really haf humbled.. humbled by the fact tt i cant take anything for granted.. humbled by the fact tt i haf taken life too comfortably.. kar gea scolded me once and it was a gd one.. for the fact that i haf not written a resume, haf not been going around and asking for a job ever since i finished my a levels, i haf been and still taking my life too comfortably.. i wont be writting another resume for the next 6 to 7 yrs of my life.. i may not need to write one, who knows?!

something is very wrong with my life.. i only hang around with the same small group of frens, i haf to constantly worry bout how much cash i haf left in my wallet and in the bank.. my social circle is shrinking by the day.. even as i go for lessons, i go alone.. sometimes i even eat my meals alone, trying to finish as fast as possible, so as to avoid the lonliness and embarassment.. i haven been concentrating much bout studies.. something inside me tells me that i am changing.. i wasnt like this half a year ago..

i have been observing myself.. i have been v business like, cold-blooded and effective.. sometimes i dun even stare pple in the eye when i talk to them.. even as we talk bout v day today, i dun even haf much female friends, so as to speak.. i have become too calm in terms of crisis.. i got this feeling when i was looking thru e facebook pic and den i realise how uni can change one person's life.. i saw alot of interaction between my friends and their new found friends.. they went overseas together, play together and it is obvious that they are having fun.. when i looked back at my profile pic, it only says that i havent been going to alot of places and enjoying myself, sharing the experiences together with close friends..

i envy those people who goes overseas with their boyfriends/girlfriends and tour around the place, having alot of fun.. one of them even hit my raw nerve, where she manage to tour around europe with her boyfriend, never mind that they are on overseas attachment trip.. touring europe and backpacking haf been one of my golden dream, and i can see it not being fulfilled after i graduate, cuz of work related issues..

i haf fallen.. every day i try to put on a mask, telling pple tt i am fine.. but deep down, i noe everything isnt.. and the main part of it is money, or rather the lack of it.. haf i been too money minded? i would say no.. my social life is shrinking, and its no thx to my lack of participation ard campus life.. i haven going out to pubs and all.. its been a long time tt i been to ktv.. if u see me next time in e canteen alone, eating 2 bucks of zhar cai fan only, prob u noe wat to do..

P.S happy valentine's day to all lovers.. though i never believe the significance of this day.. haha..

' the world continues to spin' , 2:12 am

what is the significance of being 21, besides setting up parties, inviting pple to celebrate with me and after tt, walk out after all the celebration and stuff?

i found the whole meaning of it within 1 week.. an acheivement huh? haha..

it is a mixture of everything that i have felt bout life so far at my current state.. being 21 means that you have to be more mature.. it means that we have to start to understand the social and financial pressure of being an adult.. and once we understand it, we have to find solutions to face it.. some of my frens were telling me that they dun think they will start worrying about money until they graduate and slowly find a job.. there is nothing wrong about that thinking, but i feel that prob that thinking will lead to one getting an 8-to-5 job and enjoying a secure life.. and more importantly, one may start worrying about kids' education later on in one's life..

i prob wanna talk bout social pressure first.. my mom (yes, of all pple my mom!) was urging me to meet more pple so that i can get a girlfriend instead of rotting at home and doing nth.. this kind of unnecessary pressure comes in when we are adults.. every time we meet relatives, especially those aunties that loves to sit in during house visits in chinese new year, they would prob dwell on the topic of how come got no girlfriend lah, what do you do in your uni life lah, blah, blah.... come on lah.. its not i dun wan to haf one, its just that u think now is like last time got matchmaking den anyhow intro will get 1 wife meh? den some more, give me a break lah, do you noe how expensive it is to maintain a girl or not? as parents, you all should noe rite? if i dun wanna maintain a girl, den i dun wanna maintain a girl lah.. simple as that, wat.. being 21 and above is not easy though.. yes, you have to withstand those bullshit comments from everyone else..

being 21 is not just about the freedom in making our own decisions.. it is not just about able to watch R(A) movies as well.. it is about controlling our own finances as well.. yes.. i am paying for my own expenses as of now.. including my HP bills and monthly allowance to my parents.. it is about the mindset, the thinking that we have currently towards to the topic of money.. it is a matter of how we can make money work for us.. if i say how it can be done, den it would be extracting the book 'rich dad, poor dad' and put it down here liao.. haha.. i am glad that i have some like-minded friends who are willing to think differently from the rest.. at least, i expanded my viewpoint and see how the society is being run..

why do i have this view point suddenly? i went out with my friends this week and spent quite a lot.. but at the same time, i feel that the money is well spent as they brought me to view things at a whole new different level altogether.. they talked about running a business, playing stocks, eat good food, linking up with big bosses.. we even talked about girls, future uni life and matters of the heart..

maybe being aware of those stuff as an adult prob makes my 21st birthday more significant..

' the world continues to spin' , 3:59 pm



yes, it is currently 2am in the morning and i have nth to do right now and probably the next few days.. i feel like an empty shell after clearing my leave and not going back to work, rotting at home.. one of my men put it e best way.. he said that he is currently working in HP, Home Parasite..

doing some sales to earn some commissions.. but now currently it seems like i have not acheived my desired quota, which is kinda worrying, although my boss said that i determine my own income in this line lah..

there are a few agendas on my list that i need to clear:

1) To check the prices of cars, be it parallel imports or actual ones.. To start off, i need to look for my aunt.. she and my uncle are car dealers..

2) To buy a new watch or change the batteries of my old watch.. watever it is i need to change my watch already..

3) To pass shu hui's book to her, which i bought for her 2 weeks ago in taiwan.. she has been dragging this issue for a very long time..

4) To look out for HP prices and i want to buy a new HP.. my current camera phone cannot make it..

5) To book a date with my basic boating licence course lah.. i changed it the last time round and i have not booked a new date..

yah.. so far that is about it lah.. will give an update if i have more agendas..

' the world continues to spin' , 2:01 am



i was flipping thru the pages of my passport.. suddenly i realised that i can be qualified as a frequent flyer.. my biometric passport was issued before i went to india last year.. so i have the stamps of these few countries within these 8 months: india, thailand, malaysia, taiwan, indonesia.. there is hong kong or maybe china coming up.. haha.. so on the average, u prob wont see every other month.. of course i dun go there just to get the stamp and then come back within 1 day lah..

i showed to one of my frens and she went like wow.. ' how come u can go to so many places?!', 'why of all places, india?' .....

ok, give her benefit of the doubt.. maybe she doesnt travel tt much lah.. i zai one leh.. maybe tts e reason i dun update my blog regularly.. haha..

talking bout taiwan, it was fun.. went shopping, soak in the hot spring, eat and sqweeze in the night market, trying to find a spot to sit down and eat, went to their memorial hall and do stupid stance in front the camera, sing ktv, and of cuz lastly, silly willy's favourite activity: basketball in arcade style..

my most memorable activity would prob be e soaking of hot spring.. i was turning the knob of the hot and cold water and when it was done, i shouted across the room tt we can go down and play ard.. the hot spring was located within the room and of course, there is a partition to where we sleep and where we bathe lah.. the next thing u noe, caleb came rushing down in his OCS SHORTS and was about to step into the sauna.. we were all shouting and laughing at him.. hello? hot spring with 3 other guys? prob u can go naked? dun need to be tt shy rite? haha.. we were all laughing bout it even after we came out of the tub..

prob do a lot of stuff which i cant be doing in spore lah.. it is a release after all the shit i went thru during work without going for any holiday.. a good trip after all.. now, hong kong here i come!

' the world continues to spin' , 12:53 pm



as you noe it, i received a long-overdued letter tt makes me wanna kiss it repeatedly and i feel a sense of salvation after e look of this letter..

yes.. it is the letter for the process of admissions into NTU..

i have been waiting for this day for a very long time.. i made neccessary sacrifices for this day as well.. i accumulated my 2 years of leave till this day, for me to clear one shot so as to have a good vacation and a long break to do my stuff.. eg booking of hall rooms, moving and packing into it..

now all these are happening and i cant wait to enjoy my 4 yr long holiday b4 going back to my main shithole.. but of cuz there is always a price to pay to everything tt you want.. either by committment or keep on smoking our way out.. for me, i got extras for a event which happen 3 months back.. so now i have to clear my extras b4 i go for studies.. my last day in camp was actually on last fri where comd dag coc happened.. and yet e extras was given to me on my very last day in unit, which i feel shitty about it.. i mean, y cant they tell me earlier so that i can plan?

i was pissed off.. tt was how i was treated in unit e whole 1.5 yrs in there.. telling me last min stuff and expect me to maintain standards as an officer and to have strictly zero accident in whatever i do.. day in, day out, pple only start talking when u do sth wrong and not pple who do sth rite.. to top it off, pple still get their pay on e 10th, no matter how they screw things up and affect other pple..

i am going to pull stunts to serve my extras.. my weekends are precious man.. when u can see ur end is near, u will do watever it takes to prevent any trouble..

talking bout hall rooms, i will be together with my fren in a sports hall.. my fren happened to be in e sch soccer team already and needs to find a bunk mate, and so i was e hero who slot in lor.. but i got into e hall not because of my fren.. i got a shock when my fren called me one fine day to remind me to apply for hall and at e same time, he informed me tt i got e place not because of him but of someone whom i already know b4 hand and was already staying in e hall.. i was wondering who e person was when he tell me str in e face tt his soccer buddy who pulled him in had a girlfriend and her name happens to be agnes.. it is kinda obvious when i only noe 1 agnes in tjc and happens to be staying in e sports hall.. so i suspect i was like pulled in cuz she noes me more than anything else.. i guess that is all about e hall room issue.. i hope i dun generate any more shock waves around e region.. end of story..

next thing to look forward to is my taiwan trip which will be coming in 2 days time.. haha.. but i haven pack my bag and decide wat to bring and stuff.. someone please help me.. haha.. prob this will be my 1st trip overseas without any family members tagging along.. i feel that i have been too dependent on my parents whenever we go overseas.. prob this will be e ultimate freedom i was hoping for years.. although it is way off my golden dream, i think this trip will be a good start to work towards my golden dream.. there is hong kong trip coming up as well.. haha.. i guess we can blog more about taiwan when i come back.. haha..

by then, i will talk more bout taiwan and trust me, i will be crazy bout it.. haha..

' the world continues to spin' , 11:31 pm



it has been a month since i last blogged.. feeling a bit emo, so decided to pay a visit here..

no idea what happened today.. feel abit sian while singing ktv today.. pple jumping queue for their turn to sing, time is too short with so many pple around.. there is not much airtime lah.. perhaps it is the turn of events that happened all these time that made me down..

have been working on my own for so long.. there are no close friends to support me, be it in camp or outside.. haiz.. my level of thinking and my friends' level of thinking is different.. having some money more than others has taken a whole new meaning for me.. i dun worship money, but i would like my friends to have the same level of thinking as i am so that we can talk on more common topics, rather than topics bout how difficult it is, studying in uni and living in hostel.. u will realise that these things r v mundane and the only reply pple get will be 'sianz lor'..

it cant be this way lah.. it doesnt work out.. think i have to pull myself away from my jc friends who happen to think on a different level with me.. making every options possible and available impossible and it is frustrating..

it really make me think again why am i doing this.. as said the previous time, screw it lah.. the dotted line was just too tempting.. to break the contract will be too much a blow to everyone..

' the world continues to spin' , 12:58 am



how important is success to you? how do you define success? what are the requirements for success?

these are the things probably some people would never come to think about it.. probably a more acute question would be: how successful you are right now? some people think that by finding ways to earn money, one will be successful. I am not stereotyping people who earn big bucks in whatever they do. i can be super successful if i earn a lot of money from the internet. Some of my friends are currently doing this.

BUT having a lot of money is not the only condition or requirement to being successful.

the word 'success' encompasses alot of other meanings. some people do not need money to be wildly successful, because they dont need money in the first place. i've got a friend who is super rich but not successful in his life. this is because he is not happy even though he can play around with money. yes, i do agree with the statement: 'i rather choose having fretting over too much money, rather than too little money.' but, in the case of my fren, who has so much money, to him, he has lost the feeling of being happy and successful.

being successful is being happy with what you do and still acheive results. for example, being healthy, strong and fit is also being successful, in physical health.

there are a lot of factors to being successful. i feel sad for my frens who are busy chasing and earning money think they are chasing success.

' the world continues to spin' , 3:11 pm



was chatting with yiyang just now about the zone competition that happened yesterday.. as u all noe, i was in st john as my cca in my sec sch.. i tried to be one of the alumni after i graduated, but i guess i was too busy, thus i told them i give up.. tt was like at least 4 years ago.. the batch of us then moved to do our own stuff.. like me, who served in the army, armed with the background of being in a uniformed group.. jac, for some reason, was a model in maxim and a biker chick.. charlene is studying medicine.. edmund, or affectionately known as eng hwee, is now a diver, and god knows where he is right now.. the list goes on..

back to topic.. it has been years ever since i tried to train people and imparting knowledge in first aid.. if u asked me to go and render first aid now, i probably just shrug my shoulders and say i give up.. the only reason why i was concerned about my ex-cca is that i have lost touch with what i have, which is about 5 years ago.. then, the standard of first aid has dropped and it was a case for concern.. there were several reasons to the drop.. one of it was that there was a lack of committment from the people who are being trained.. the other one was that there was not enough seniors who are willing to come back and train those kids.. another was that there wasn't a good culture in enabling people to punish their juniors without any restrain.. whatever the case, solutions are being carried out.. changing the culture, making people more committed, recruitment drive better, so on and so forth..

people like us who just come back from serving ns are all unwilling to train the kids already.. it is so time consuming and there isn't any tangible rewards.. when i was told of the zone competition i was more curious about the result than anything else.. the school won all 4 categories with some pts to spare.. what shocked me is that yiyang told me that the comp has increased the standard, which means to say that either the other schools had decreased in their standard as well, or we have really improved, which is a big surprise to me..

whatever it is, i feel that kudos to yiyang and bixia who are willing to sacrifice their time to help out and change the degenerating culture of our school's sj.. however, i am not willing to do such a sacrifice.. i had enough of those activities that ends up with no rewards..

the 4 years i had an impact on me and i was grateful to the experience that i gained.. i learn the regimentation a uniform group brings and the flexibility of organising an event or an activity, and combine the 2 of them together.. which is of good use now to me.. but, if u ask me if i had fun, then i can safely reply a big no to u.. i like the competition part as i believe i am a competitive guy, but those games and organising of camps, i guess i had enough of those nightmares..

tts all from me today.. ciaoz..

' the world continues to spin' , 11:00 pm



there is a lot to grumble about when so many things happened within these 2 weeks.. one thing at a time..

first, officership.. pardon me if i sound offensive or passionate.. there is too much 2lt around in my camp.. because of estab problem, there are a lot of officers around.. pple who supposedly can make decisions.. but there are instances whereby my understudies are not behaving like what officers do.. they can come up to me and ask me what to do when they meet up with a situation.. aka their problem solver.. if an officer cannot even take care of themselves, and make sound decisions on their own, what makes you an officer? duty-wise, they just anyhow do.. no discipline, no one to look at them.. now, things crop up and everyone just start pointing fingers and blaming each other.. told them to account for their actions.. i think whatever they do for their duties goes unpunished.. wtf.. now i dun understand what they get their rank for.. to siam everything?

second, after reviewing one of my posts with regards to my scholorship, i have gotten the lowest among all kind of scholorship.. after that, i ended off by saying not doing anything till march.. i guess i cant say that anymore.. cuz all kinds of arrow are shooting at me because my bloody irresponsible direct boss went to apply leave without informing me first.. because of that, i have to do all of his work.. just because i am covering him.. its like i am clocking my tour as a covering but it doesnt count when i come back from studies.. how fair can that be? the best part is that i am not going to pull any kind of stunts and just wanna study.. my frens are all going to clear leave very early to study, but i cant.. cuz most of my understudies cannot make it.. what the hell is my world coming into?

third, i am disappointed with the efficiency of the navy.. shant elaborate more, but we waited for hours for things to happen.. when it did, it screwed up, big time.. waste my time planning.. waste everyone's time..

forth, what is happening to me? i looked lost and feel lost after the whole training.. i start to wonder at what price do i get from earning that credit-less pay? no wonder i like the word 'soulless'.. how apt can it get? haha.. pple who dun do work still get the same amount of pay as those who worked their butts out.. it is a test of responsibility.. whoever work more will be at the losing end.. why am i so foolish to be on the losing end?

that is the end of my grumbles for the past 2 weeks.. alot has happened.. and i am just du lan that there is no end to these bull shit..

i need to slp.. ciaoz..

' the world continues to spin' , 1:19 am



other than shag, there is no other word to describe how i feel right now.. there are so many things to settle but so little time.. i have to work overtime, which i feel super stupid.. i could have easily thrown everything aside and go on leave.. follow what my beloved boss did and throw everything to me without telling me the whole story..

is my working style correct? am i doing too much things without informing people about the latest updates? i really feel it is so.. however, there are so many things that are unconfirmed and my bigest boss is pushing me to confirm all the details.. the best part is that the event that i am organising is super last min and i have to produce something out of nothing.. y like tt?

think i have to change how i deal things, and manage things.. doesn't make sense for me to keep on working without any clue or so..

tmr is another day and i think i have to start working and iron out all the details before everyone harps on me for all the details, again.. just plain tired.. feel super lost and wanna and have to take a break after all these bull shit.. if not, there is no end to it..

going to sleep liao.. and man utd just thrash bolton 4-1.. yeah..

' the world continues to spin' , 1:00 am



its been a long time since i updated my blog.. this week is a busy one, cuz i am covering for someone and he basically siam-ing everything as the pile of work that he left behind was enormous.. tts how civil service works for u.. the arrow just come without u getting a warning.. and within 1 month there will be 2 key events coming up.. i cant even clear my leave, let alone my off days.. and the best part, i have to make sure pple clear their off days b4 they go off while i go out at the same time as them..

cant wait to enter into uni man.. and another deep pile of shit is waiting for me to clear.. haha.. this is never ending.. super shag.. and super busy..

went to dexter birthday party today and realise the difference between my thinking and my peers' thinking.. to them enjoyment is part of their life now and they only think bout money after their graduation from uni.. tt is when they are kan cheong and start to find work.. i overheard one of dexter's sec sch frens.. they were talking bout how money can change one person totally and he has experience it as one of his friends had join some network marketing company and made it big.. now he thinks his friend who made it big has changed a lot and starts to preach bout money more often than not, which he does not like..

this conversation only highlights 2 points: one, dexter's sec sch friends are too naive when dealing with money.. they only see the ill effects (or side effects) on money can have on a person.. two, their fren who made it big is too pushy and too preachy.. when u talk bout money, it is a sensative issue.. the people involed in your conversation must have the mentality that says i want a change from my current lifestyles. If there isn't, we to start talking from a bigger picture where everyone have a common understanding or a common ground to start with..

tired liao.. ciaoz..

' the world continues to spin' , 12:50 am



before i go off to one of my friends' 21st birthday, i prob make a remark about the craze surrounding the seemingly important day in everyone's life..

i have got a few friends who booked chalet and set up a party and invited everyone whom he/she has met in some point in his/ her life.. seriously, they are really nice and popular people and they can afford such a thing.. i am not really going to criticise them for going all the way to spend such money..

i also got a few friends who want to keep it low key and celebrate with a few very close friends.. they prefer to keep it quiet..

my queasiness is that what is the big hoo haa all about some empirical figure and stage of our life that requires people to be joyous about? i feel that we are still young and unless we are making a big fortune or business outside such that we can afford to spend money without our parents to worry about anything, then probably we can really go all out to celebrate..

to me 21 is just stage in life where it reminds ourselves to be more mature and mindful of others around us.. after the mini-celebration to pamper ourselves, i think it is time to start thinking about our future, where i find that most of my friends fail to think about.. it is saddening and parents have to start worrying again after all the fun as we have to feed off from our parents again.. times have changed where we can easily find a job just by inheriting a family business..

my friend's mother put it just right: No money, no honey

i bet people will be starting to ask wat i will be doing this 21st birthday.. for me, no chalet, no party, just a good day of rest, relax and perhaps a good meal.. i had enough of work already.. haha..



' the world continues to spin' , 5:04 pm


vick prob has so much time that he even contributes to my blog.. go find a part-time job, vick..

cny was fun because i had the time to gamble, everyday.. of cuz i lost.. i din play mahjong like wat the others did.. neither did i bet on singaporeans' favourite, blackjack.. i went back to malaysia to visit my grandparents.. so the game that they played was a different kind.. it is called gin rummy.. it looks simple, as it is just 2 sets of poker cards on mahjong tiles, and all we need to do is connect the tiles in running numbers.. whoever is the first to clear all the tiles on hand wins..

of course, who has all the luck in the world to clear everything? so this game is more of skill and the thinking process is no easier than mahjong.. i play the game at home at times but my relatives are really good.. most of the time i was outwitted by them.. so you know where my money goes to.. its not that my luck is really lousy, as i have won bout 30 bucks from just a few rounds of blackjack with my cousins, it is the versatility of the game that really kills a lot of brain cells..

but other than that, tts all for cny.. it was the usual stuff, collect ang pow and eat cookies and get questioned by relatives bout wat i am doing and stuff..

kenna arrowed to do alot of stuff.. think i can say goodbye to my europe backpacking trip..

du lan..

' the world continues to spin' , 3:19 pm



I could do this on my own blog...but more fun if i could squeeze it into yap's

1. Single, taken or crushing?
Single
2. Are you happy with your life now?
Generally yes, but these are hard times
3. When you meet the right person, will you fall for him/her fast?
With each year and growing desparation, i can fall for anyone fast
4. Have you had your heart broken?
I wish i had...
5. Do you believe there are circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
Yes, given no one finds out.
6. Would you talk to someone back if he/she cheats you?
yah..Pretending it didnt happen, not gonna change things
7. Have you talked to another person about marriage before?yes..
8. Do you want children?
yes, the astrologer said i would have a boy and a girl. My son is gonna be a pilot and daugter a doctor. i am supposed to be married ard 27 and have my first born at 29
9. How many?
Answered alr
10. Would you consider adoption?
Ar..monkeys from the zoo maybe...
11. If someone likes you right now, would you accept?
Man, didnt happen in 21 yrs....
12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
not i a position to answer
13. Be honest, what did you & your ex did?
N.A
14. Do you believe in love at 1st sight?
i do, but in my case seems like the rest of the world doesnt.
15. Are you romantic?
i hope so...
16. Do you believe you can change someone?
yes..
17. If you could marry somewhere, where would it be?
On top of a tibetan hill...its a gd excuse for a hol. "Eh vick what you do fun in your last trip??" "Well, i jus got married la..."
18. Do you easily give in when you're fighting?
3 part ans
a) In a fist fight: NO
b) In the fight towards a goal: I take breaks
c) In a verbal fight: You win
19. Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Nope
20.have you ever wished you had someone, who loves you?
Yup, all my life.
21. Have you ever broken a heart?
This is mocking me.
22. One day, if your best friend falls in love with the he/she you're deeply in love with, what would you do?
I would say fuck off...its 21 yrs alr, dont make this any longer and agonising
23. Are you missing someone right now?
My biggest problem is i dont. And i never did.

' the world continues to spin' , 3:04 am



went there because i was forced to.. had no choice.. u see, within 3 months i flew overseas twice, and i had not been given any major break in my work.. there was simply not enough breathing time.. after i came back, i was arrowed to do alot of other stuff as well.. maybe to those on top of me, they feel that i need to recover for lost time.. haha..

nvm, let's move on to the main topic.. it was fun, serious fun.. i shant talk much about the whole exercise, but i can tell you, the americans were darn crazy.. either they fly super low that u can see the pilots, wave at them, or even throw a stone up and can hit them while they are flying, or they fly at speeds where we were trying super hard to even catch them in our aiming sight.. it was awe initially, shock later, and monotony at the end.. the planes were flaring and it was like watching fireworks all over again, except that it is in daytime.. come on, lets face the obvious truth.. i feel that spore pilots are too safety conscious.. u dun get to see all these back home..

when there is time to enjoy, we really enjoyed.. cashing in on the currency, we shopped in lop buri, shopped in sara buri and even as we were about to leave, there were still more last min shopping.. some of us ended up using our cards, cuz the amount of money that we changed before coming here were too little for our spending limits.. dom sum it up the best.. he said that he was not suprised that if all of us were to walk out and have a battery outing, all of us would wear either an addidas shirt or a FBT singlet..

the things were simply summed up by one word: CHEAP!!

we also went to the night market and it was huge.. spore is nothing compared to there.. it took me just half an hour to finish walking the whole market.. spore one can be done in 10 to 15 mins.. it was just plain walking without any stopping.. after that the bargaining starts and i dare say we were prob the guys who shopped the most throughout the whole 2 weeks.. the size and the amount of bags that we brought home were simply more than people from other units.. haha..

of cuz to top it off, we made the personnels from other units pissed simply because we woke them up early in the morning, played football and making alot of noise while the others were having breakfast, and to top it off, sleep while the others were trying to move their stuff back into the containers..

we finished packing the night before.. haha..

prob tt sums up my trip to thailand..

received sH msg regarding my last post.. din expect her to even msg me in the first place.. but with a bad timing.. i was in a meeting.. everytime she msg me out of her own will, i will always be in meeting.. haha.. thx for the encouraging msg, tt is if u are reading this post..

' the world continues to spin' , 5:26 pm



yeah, its birthday thailand and away.. im writing this post on the sly in thailand.. yes, im using someone's internet and put in this important entry..

celebrated sH 21st birthday a week ago.. met her outside finally face to face after 4 years.. haha.. went to eat, chatted a bit and sent her back home.. finally, i gave her my last min present before she returned to her block.. when she opened up, she kept thanking me.. to a point where i said it was enough already.. her eyes were like watery and stuff, all of a sudden.. gave her a necklace with her fav colour as the colour of the gem.. i guess it should be enough for those encouragement she gave me along the way, even though we did not met, even though she went through a difficult period and i was not in spore..

when i chatted with her, i felt very awkward.. on one hand i could chat as a friend, on the other, i felt we were trying hard on both sides to find something to talk about.. when her eyes were watery, i dunno if she was touched or she was sleepy already.. guess i am thinking too much.. all these years, maybe i have been thinking too much.. focusing too much attention on her..

i guess it is an indication after this outing.. it is time to move on..

thailand was fun but tension was there.. will update more when i get back..

' the world continues to spin' , 11:02 pm



today is a boring day.. i thought there will be some excitement in an army unit recall, where you will see people scrambling to get things done, by hook or by crook.. nonetheless, i was disappointed.. everything went smoothly, too smoothly, in fact.. nvm.. end of story for my encounter today..

i talk to sH yesterday and proposed a super crazy idea.. this came out when she helped me settle some of issues pertaining to my blog..

to share the same blog.. under 2 names..

so you will see myself and her blogging bout 2 very different things.. even the darnest people that i have met on earth will never even think about it.. of cuz, no one will agree to it lah.. being a reserved and guai girl, she would never agree to such a crazy proposal..

but it were me, i probably just take up the proposal and blog one or two entries per month.. just for the fun of it.. haha.. i really dun mind.. serious..

i wonder how my two friends are doing in kuala lumpur as they meet new people to expand their business network.. good luck to them as they are travelling to the unknown.. i have never known for such courage.. if i open up my mouth, it is either bad-mouthing people, shooting people or comment on people.. it is never good.. being too straight-forward is never a good thing.. i have offended too many people because of my mouth..

currently, training to fine tune my mouth.. hopefully, i will turn a better person.. and have more friends who are close to me and share the same interest as me..

' the world continues to spin' , 12:05 am



today was super happening.. went to report sick and get mc.. finally i get to have a break.. haha.. though it was just 2 days only.. but this comes at a price.. still feel super weak though.. waited for 2 full hours just to get a 2 day mc and some medicine which i feel that it was of no use.. haha.. think tmr gonna find chinese sinseh liao..

after looking at the doctor in the morning, i went off to find my 'undead' partner.. love to xiang 'qian' kan.. money-wise, that is.. went to trade a deal with him.. haha.. close him as my partner.. haha..

while talking to him, i got a msg from sH that she has finally pass her driving test.. i feel happy for her though she was the one who took the test, not me.. it was her 2nd try for the test already.. i noe in spore, driving test is partiularly v difficult to pass, cuz of all the demerit points and stuff.. somehow i dunno why i feel that i played a part in helping her go through all these things.. she complains to me for all sort of things.. at that point of time, i felt like i was the one passing the test as well.. to add on, i managed to persuade one of my fren as well.. it seems like i was the one of the happiest guys around.. nah.. that is just plain exaggerating..

her 21st birthday is just a few days away.. i dunno wat to do.. ask her out or just plain wishing will do? its been 4 years though.. haiz.. dun wanna think about it lah.. let me have a good rest 1st..

2007 will be an eventful year.. mark my words.. how much ups or downs will be determined by how i go about tackling situations coming along my way.. increase in pay, rank, and biz status.. it will be interesting..

gtg liao.. tired..

' the world continues to spin' , 10:26 pm



it's coming to the end of the year already.. going to grow older for 1 more year.. seriously, getting older is really easy.. all we need to do is to sit one corner and watch the world pass by.. well, tts getting older for u.. growing up is much tougher.. u have to think more sensible, do things with more maturity and do what u think is within ur responsibility..

i hate to say this but alot of things happened within my work, and i really dunno how to express my feelings when i talk bout work.. pple always asked me if i have made the correct decision so far.. my standard ans will be :' i dun really hate my job, but neither do i like my job..' an answer that is equalvalent to not answering at all..

actually my life is at the cross roads this year for me.. i have to decide alot of things within the year, like my scholarship interview board and a place for me to study.. my second career, whether i should continue or not, because of the heavy work load that i have right now.. i really thought of giving up for both my careers at one point or another in this year.. it is really tiring.. luckily i have such supportive parents that helped me to trudge my way through.. 2006, by far, is the most mentally taxing year of my life, as every decision that i make will really affect my life in the future..

if i were to tell my dad that i decided to break my bond, and not going to uni and study, u will see him in a fit of rage.. tts how serious it can be.. i noe i have to make a decision soon but i really have no idea which to concentrate on..

my highlights of this year is getting commissioned in march, in which we are all very happy at that moment, without realising how much shit is going to land on our heads as the peak caps, that we threw, drops back.. Next comes the national day parade, where im involed in one of the bit part roles that has to do a lot of work when compared to my peers, just because of where i stand.. next comes the super big army exercise, where i shant say much.. but it juz very mentally torturing.. after that, im off to india for a month, doing nth but going outfield.. made pple du lan, learn alot of things which i have never known before.. came back to become a more knowleadgeable person den b4..

now its towards end of the year.. i can have time to think about what do i wanna do in my life.. im quite free now actually.. and i have nobody to countdown with so far.. i wish i could see a fortune teller and tell me what i will expect for next year.. so that i wont start up cold or can defy expectations.. haha..

slp for now.. tmr is another day of fighting..

' the world continues to spin' , 1:19 am



yesterday was dad's birthday.. but he is in new zealand now.. hope he is having fun.. enjoying his 54th birthday.. my dad is a very independant guy.. in fact i think he matured at a very young age..

who would want to take up the challenge of going to a foreign land with no relatives juz to work? i find that nowadays fewer singaporean youngsters are willing to do that.. i really respect my dad for the fact that he is a good father.. he is able to discipline his children, yet able to give his kids the respect of choice as we grow up and demand more freedom..

he is so old now and he is still organising family trips overseas for a holiday.. some dads would just like to go for organised, packaged tour trips for a holiday to relax.. there is nth wrong with that but free and easy tours demands more organising, but with more freedom.. i tried to chip in and help once for a trip to new zealand.. tt was 2 years ago.. we were over there, just nice for their christmas and new year long holiday where most of the shops were closed and motels were fully booked.. me and my dad only realised this prob when we were there and we were scampering to find 1)available motels, 2)payment mode which can accept credit card and not cash as we were short of nz dollars, and 3)food on the move.. we were almost maxed out, 1st day when we touched down.. it was one of the toughest holiday trips in terms of organisational skills.. but overall it was worth the effort as it was the best trip so far as both my parents and my siblings really enjoyed themselves.. and the glacier climb was the only adventure activity that my family did together as a family so far after 18 years being together.. cuz normally, my mom would sit one corner and watch us play roller coaster or we would take turns to look after our bags or my brother was too small to enjoy those thrilling rides..

successful dad? i guess i was with him for 20 years.. i guess i have to say yes..

everyone have their own special comments for their own father.. because they are special in their own children's eyes.. maybe find a time or two to really sit down over dinner and talk to them.. you will be surprised how much they can tell you about life's journey..

' the world continues to spin' , 12:33 am



1. Single, taken or crushing?
single..
2. Are you happy with your life now?
dun think so.. look at the previous post..
3. When you meet the right person, will you fall for him/her fast?
nope.. its just not me..
4. Have you had your heart broken?
yah.. well, who doesnt?
5. Do you believe there are circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
if you are talking about life and death and cheating love can save a life, den yes.. if not, dun even bother to think..
6. Would you talk to someone back if he/she cheats you?
yah.. well, one have to face up to his/her own guilt..
7. Have you talked to another person about marriage before?
yes..
8. Do you want children?
yes.. but not in the near future, not even in my late 20s..
9. How many?
prob 2.. 1 boy 1 gal will be enough.. spore living standard too high already..
10. Would you consider adoption?
nope.. if it is meant to be yours den its yours..
11. If someone likes you right now, would you accept?
really depends..
12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
err.. i dunno..
13. Be honest, what did you & your ex did?
nth.. i dun even have one to start off with..
14. Do you believe in love at 1st sight?
nope..
15. Are you romantic?
nope.. im juz a boring person..
16. Do you believe you can change someone?
yes..
17. If you could marry somewhere, where would it be?
someplace where govt is willing to sponsor my wedding, as i will be promoting it as a venue for more sporeans couple to join in.. juz like wat my cousin did.. sounds like a great deal huh?
18. Do you easily give in when you're fighting?
tt depends.. if im in the wrong, of cuz i have to give in..
19. Do you have feelings for someone right now?
eh.. im confused.. dun ask me tt qn.. she might be reading it..
20. Have you ever wished you had someone, who loves you?
who doesnt?
21. Have you ever broken a heart?
yah.. it takes two hands to clap.. when i dun get her, i have no choice but to break a heart..
22. One day, if your best friend falls in love with the he/she you're deeply in love with, what would you do?
haha.. been there, done tt.. write all frustrations on pieces of paper, tear it into pieces, dump it, and treat the next day as a normal day.. its gd therapy, man.. haha..
23. Are you missing someone right now?
well.. like i said, i dunno.. im just lost and confused..

' the world continues to spin' , 2:28 am


what a break.. whole week on leave.. bluffing pple that im not in spore.. out to do business on my own.. doing some riduculous test paper involving almost 1000 mcq qns.. fed up with pple not replying my messages and it is out of goodwill that i share this information..

is it because of my tone? is because of my serious, no-nonsense attitude? or am i juz too irritating?

du lan..

wat do i do during my break? drive my dad's car around.. be anonymous for a whole week.. spend some time with my some of my frens who encourages me on to do my own business.. of cuz ordered a new laptop.. of cuz not to forget to pay for the petrol and parking fee and the cashcard that i enjoy splurging on.. driving is really a shuang thing to do.. dun need to think bout anything.. enjoy the speed and the adranaline rush while pumping the accelerator.. of cuz to top it off, there is nobody to supervise or nag beside u while u r driving.. orchard road has been a challenge to me.. i overcomed it.. parking has been a prob for me.. well, i passed marginally.. rain for these few days was so bad that i could hardly even see the lane markings and the cars behind me.. luckily, i did not hit those flood prone area, if not my dad would kill me.. there was a power failure leading to erp gates not functioning properly.. lucky me.. cuz my cashcard has no money left already at that point of time.. haha..

i dread going back to work.. not because the work sucks.. because of the people that i deal with.. cant i have bosses who are forgiving enough? i do admit everyone enters a shithole when they start working.. it is a matter of whose shithole is larger.. i dun wanna complain.. no point as well.. if i have bosses who are forgiving, any kind of shit i can still take though.. i tried to be forgiving to my men, but i was viewed as too soft a leader.. guess it's not so easy either.. balance is so difficult to reach.. so now wat? i dun want to take this break to go and think about it.. no use also.. no actions, no talk.. simple as that..

for now, concentrating on working my way up.. no.. i dun mean my working career.. it's the other one..

f**k man, that dotted line was just too tempting..

' the world continues to spin' , 1:19 am



what irony when there are people being paid to manage other people's finances when they themselves have to work 8 to 5..

do you get the joke? if these people are so gd at managing finances, why are they still working? they should be financially free.. when i mean financially free, i mean they should not be working or worrying about money at all.. i believe if we are working, we are working for the money, and not make the money work for us.. cuz if u r really rich, u dun have to think twice about spending anything.. back of your mind u know there are reserves in which u can use..

i really wonder how much does these financial planners earn a month.. i bet there are commissions as well..

i believe that one will know their own finances the best.. it is an individual responsibility to manage one's finances.. cuz only yourself will know how much one have spend on food, transport, utility bills and even sustain personal lifestyle.. there is no other people to do it.. that is unless u are senile or unable to concentrate on managing finances solely and properly..

passive income may sound bombastic, but that is the key word to attaining financial freedom.. this came to my mind when i was reading Robert Kiyosaki's 'rich dad, poor dad'.. at first i thought he was bullshitting, trying to earn some bucks by publishing books.. den i realise that he had credible evidence to back his statements up.. though he was gd in only a few areas, his ideas were very good and was one of the kind.. it was different from other authors.. other books will encourage climbing coporate ladder, or invest in this or that by looking at charts and numbers.. i dun say it is bad, but i feel that his ideas were refreshing.. his books didnt become best seller for nth lor.. haha..

currently having some passive income, but it wont last long.. i am open to ideas tt can make money though.. haha.. contact me or find me if you wanna share or wanna know what i am doing now..

need to sleep.. gtg.. bye..

' the world continues to spin' , 12:40 am



just came back from india.. really made me realise how lucky i am.. on the streets u see the kids barefooted running about.. some wash their laundry in the open.. some just did it in the open.. really did nothing during the weekends and i din have alot of friends to call back home.. in the end had to give away my left over credits in my card to someone who has to report to his beloved almost everyday.. haha.. guess i grew up in an environment where independance is of importance.. not paramount but they dun expect u to call back every noe and then.. u noe.. advantages of too much travelling.. no one misses u when u r away and no one fetches u when u touch down.. haha..

the whole trip was so-so.. at times boring.. we had to find our own entertainment and the only thing that save us from becoming sleeping prince is the cable tv that they provided.. and dun get me wrong, zx was reading his book all the time except for looking out for those basketball moments or matches.. i was more towards soccer matches and the amazing race and the amazing race asia..

saw vick's comments on his blog.. feel the same way as he feels now.. when i came back, there was nobody i can go to the mess with.. at night, i was alone in the 2 bunks we used to occupy.. super lonely man.. think we can forget bout night bball too.. zx and porn lee not ard.. vick ord-ed.. newbies were busy clearing leave.. sleeping alone at night was not a gd feeling and i do wake up feeling lost, knowing the others are not around to joke with u anymore..

more newbies are coming in and helping us to do more duties.. haha.. tts all i care about..

more updates coming up when i have more time..

' the world continues to spin' , 11:10 pm



Yo shi yuan, i'm sure you dun mind me contributing to your posts right? since u did give me authorship for ur blog too..

I always feel that it is maturity for those who seek purpose in their lives. It is where people are aware that they are living and they wish to live responsible lives to pursue things that truly matters.

There is a difference between thinking you know what u want, and REALLY knowing what you are pursuing in life. The heart is deceitful above all things. It can fool you to believe that what you are doing is worth it and asking you not too think too much. U need to think really long term, in perspective of your whole life!

I agree there are many who are merely existing and not living life. But it is not for me to judge who's passion is worth seeking and which is not. Though it is really disheartening to see others wandering aimlessly in life, chasing temporal pleasures, being enslaved by the structured life of this world.

The matrix does provoke us to think deeper to find out if what we see in life is all there is to it. One part i really like is the final showdown between Agent Smith and Neo. Agent Smith is winning and he began to question Neo's motivation to fight despite losing. What is it that you are fighting for? What is it that keeps you going? Is it hope? Only a foolish thing such as the human mind can create smth like this.. Is it love? What is your purpose?

Though having the consciousness to start asking these questions does stop us to think, questions upon questions without answers drives us nowhere. We become no different from those who do not seek the truth.

This is what I've understood about the truth. Truth is truth. It does not depend on human opinions. It does not vary for different people. It cannot be debated on. There can only be 1 truth, it does not compromise, nor does it accept any other facts that contradicts it. All lies and deceit will be revealed under the truth. Either you accept it or you reject it. Either way you will face the consequence of your choice in time to come just like any other decisions you make in life.

That's the nature of the truth. One will slowly realise why it is so, simply because it is its nature, it's how we define truth. If truth can be manipulated by man, it is not truth.

This is the truth that I'm very thankful I'm being chosen to know. That a life without its Creator is meaningless beacuse the creation does not understand why he is here. Only by coming back to the Creator of life can he truly find the answers to life. If you really think about it, of all the people in the world, who will have the answers to everything? Of course the one who is all-knowing - God Himself. My answers to life is expressed through the way I live. I do not keep the truth because it set me free. And i challenge all who reads to seek that truth and judge it for yourself how blessed it is to know the truth.

' the world continues to spin' , 12:33 pm



guess the word says it all.. dont need me to explain further.. overconfidence may be the word, but i counted my chances.. enough said.. from now till next year march, i am not going to do anything much, cuz i guess no matter how much work and effort one puts in, if an organisation does not appreciates it and determines one's fate through an interview, then i feel that it is very sad..

Very sad, indeed..

back to the drawing board, back to square one..

have i made a wrong move in my game of chess?

we shall see.. haha..

till then, happy birthday to all Nov babies!

' the world continues to spin' , 12:03 am



there are a lot things that happened the past week, such as busy preparing a COC parade and settle my overseas ex stuff. i am like the liasion officer for my unit in which i am not supposed to take it up. nvm.. tts not the important point..

for the next month, u wont see me in spore.. so juz wait for my entry when i come back..

Ciao!

' the world continues to spin' , 2:44 am



i have been trying to keep this blog a secret.. trying hard not to let pple know i have one.. so far it succeeded..

i dun have to answer all questions post to me, but curiosity will always get the better of man, so i talk 1st.. there is a reason why i like this name.. its abit retorical though.. i mean aren't zombies supposed to be soulless? well, tts not the main pt.. i have been living for the past 20 years of my life.. there is one qn tt is always bugging me..

why and what do u live for?

ok, make tt 2.. the way i see things and the working environment i am in now, i feel directionless.. i have no idea what am i looking for these days.. no diff from a zombie.. ideals and having an aim in life makes life more meaningful and keeps people sane.. really sane.. even if it means working your butt out just to improve the organisation's efficiency or help contribute to the orgaisation u r in..

it makes me feel disheartened to see my friends around me all saying tt they wanna earn money, but dunno how to go about doing it, except for working, be it part time or full time.. once u ord, u start finding and trying to get a job.. once u get a job u have to quit after 7 to 8 months because you have to enter university.. after you graduate after 4 years, what's next? work again?

its a never-ending cycle.. and aim in life is to work? i am not condeming work, but its just that i wanna ask that all important qn..

why do you work?

if the work that u r doing fits your passion, then really good for u.. if its really for the sake of paying off the debts accumulated during your uni life, pls reconsider.. cuz u oso haf to support your parents.. what irony when we study in our textbooks that s'pore is becoming a grey society and we have to support more people than before, and yet most of us dont take immediate action..

the whole cycle is making young pple like us becoming zombies already.. brainwashed by the norms set by our society.. work, because i think that is the only route to take..

for my friends who are going to ORD in 1 week's time, i hope u can take some time of ur life to re-think about what r u doing with ur life.. dont be another zombie like me..

perhaps, for a start, re-watch the matrix again, and focus on the values and messages that the wachowski brothers want to send across..

' the world continues to spin' , 2:12 am



its been ages since i open my golden mouth to vary the tone and pitches in my voice and 'talk' to the mike.. must be at least 6 mths or so.. i rem the last time i sang in either kbox or party world is with my jc frens, they booked a big room where we played inside.. but tt is also because we haf about 13 to 14 pple tt day.. din sing much..

this time round, i had more air time.. im more of a bathroom singer den anything else.. haf not gone thru any profressional coaching and know nuts about those 'do-re-mi' notes.. yeah, i suck at music.. but look who's enjoying singing? sang together wif some frens whom i happened to know outside my ns life.. really enjoyed as i get to sing new songs, watch mtv and still able to reach the high notes smoothly..

that is until i sang one crazy song by this powerful malaysian singer, gary cao.. i was made to screech at certain points of the song cuz the notes were really too high to reach and the gals in our group could only reach it.. yeah, its 'gua mu xiang kan', where pple will recognise it as the song used for one of the popular chinese drama serial about cops, where tay ping hui and qi yu wu were the lead actors.. the song will end off as 'i believe i can fly', and i believe that is the climax of the whole song.. one of my all time fav..

from then on, i tried singing david tao songs, JJ lin songs, even wilber songs, but all almost cannot make it cuz i used my throat too much for that song.. when i sing, my voice tends to go for higher notes, so i can go for JJ lin songs and david tao and even lin zi xuan, that is if u haf heard him.. im really impressed by lin zi xuan's vocals.. he is like the modern day fei yu ching or even fei xiang, but less publicity and less suave.. i rem he sang at one of the charity shows where he basically owned those dunno superstar singers or singapore idol finalists.. he came out and made pple cry after he finish singing.. enough said.. his only song that i like to sing is 'li ren' or departed..

yesterday was the birthday of one of my friends.. know him during ocs times and outside ns life.. really appreciated how he guide me as a person.. really appreciated how he still have faith in me after all these times.. both of us are busy people.. and we really hardly talked sit down and talked about our life and know each other enough as normal friends, but i dare say he earned more than me.. haha.. when i was feeling down and all the workload coming in at work, he juz gave me a call and asked me out for a sip of coffee, a much needed break.. the joke is he never told me when his birthday was until sun where i saw pple wishing him happy birthday den i realised his big day was nearby.. as a typical conservative chinese, i would never go out and give him a hug or or give him a big party or sth.. i prob will thank him thru other forms and other subtle ways..

talking about birthday, dun ask me wat i want for my 21st birthday.. i dun even noe wat will happen next year to my studies or where i would land up.. chalet seems to be the best option, but i rather spend my money on some other things.. yeah, i seemed to be losing grip of my expenses already.. post about it some other time..

' the world continues to spin' , 4:43 pm



i kinda realise that since my fire is still burning for writing blogs, i should capitalise on this and keep writing b4 i run out of topics to write.. haha..

wanna talk bout the amount of money i am currently handling, and the amount of responsibilities i am carrying in terms of money.. but nah, think i will talk bout it some other day.. the flurry of activities i am experiencing is gonna make me crazy man, money-wise..

today's man u vs liverpool match was exciting, and of cuz my fav team, man u won.. 2-0 was the scoreline.. have been supporting them since 1998.. juz nice for the treble in 1999, where i woke up in the middle of the night juz to see those 2 unbelievable goals in nou camp in the champions league final.. really disappointing performance from pool and i really think devils deserve those points.. and of cuz, rio ferdinand scored.. Yes, its Rio, of all pple.. haha..

my jc class has an almost equal mix of guys and gals, fortunately.. y do i say so? cuz 1503, which is my graduating class, is my 2nd class in my jc life.. my 1st was a dispropotionate ratio of 20 gals and 4 guys in 0903.. dun come away with the thinking that i had a gd life in there because of the amount of gals.. no doubt, they are book smart, but street smart? i think i will leave my comments to myself.. i would prefer to use the words 'adequate mix'.

anyway back to topic, the status of our guys all 11 of them, plus chion if u wanna include him is as follows:
me- will be for duty, honour, country for quite a while.. uni status still on the line
lie yang- pee-lot trainee, may get chopped any time.. can forget bout uni for the time being.. who needs a degree if u can fly a plane?
whee wen- most hardworking, deservedly went to some camp in the east, where he can work his butt out.. nus eee where sam is prob waiting for him..
chong yew- ntu or nus common engine, saf storeman, no thx to his leg..
kai wei- some part of armour, joke is my sec fren is one of his men, ntu materials engine, gd luck to him in competing wif the chi scholars
wei feng- everyday complain wash vehicle, dunno wat he do oso, shld be ntu sci..
alan- rp ic in one of the units,only ic of planning, never take part in doing duties though, ntu biz, together with his twin bro
dex- mp, lucky for him he got into some course in ntu, he din update me bout it..
hong ming- armour infantry men, ntu eee.. its abit hard to squeeze info out from him though..
corny corn- same as hong ming, nus sci..
daren- police coast guard(lucky shit, so fit shld land up in ndu or sth, yet heng heng tio this one), forgot bout his liao.. asked him like a few times, but keep on forgetting..

u will soon come to realise that we all land up in ntu except for corn.. well, this class gathering is not over yet.. haha.. the gals are waiting in there already..8 out of 11 are in ntu.. oh man! Y spore is so small?

i hate this cluster f**k thing.. it bores u down as pple will juz dig out dunno-how-many-donkey-years-jokes that i created to tell people i have never met before, just to entertain them..

its juz my thinking.. if my interview passes through, and i can go live independently in UK, understanding cockney will be my challenge, instead of saying hi every corner i turn.. oh well, see how it turns out..

hope for some gathering for our class.. and of cuz, no army talk, u guys are ORD-ing liao.. uni life sounds fun though.. haha.. look who is looking forward to uni life..

' the world continues to spin' , 3:06 am



When i opened my e-mail and saw an invite to write in another blog, i thought, geesh, maybe someone saw my great talent in writing and want me to contribute in their blog. I was FYaped. It is a blog started by Yap, because he was on off and he didnt know what else to do. For the above mentioned reasons, i feel very undervalued. Nevertheless, if you dream of writing lengthy essays on the likes of "The Economist", "Times" or any other intellectual magazine then costs $7 or more but comes at an affordable price of $1.50 if you buy through magazine promotions at SAF Camps, you will have to start small on like Yap's blog. Hmm, maybe not..

But what Yap is saying is rather true, my mom makes the best curry.

Actually, i agree that we will probably not meet in a long time to come, which is why i invited all you monkeys. So ben liang i am going to come to your house to rape all your chocolates because u were sleeping and didnt come to my house.

And the other point is, i think i will be married and driving a mercedes when we come back for ICT. Both courtesy of my parents.

' the world continues to spin' , 3:35 pm


I guess this would be useful for a person like me.. i admit though this comes a bit late.. not planning to change my blogskin to something fancyful or wat in the near future.. u can call me a new blogger who dunno anything, i dun care.. u can tell me that everyone is looking at ur comments and laugh and criticise at me, but i dun care either.. unless its something to do with the law..

today went to Vick's house to eat lunch.. as a matter-of-fact, i din gate crash in.. he invited us, as a big group of 2LT as a whole.. except for one LTA.. today was deepavali, and his mom's curry was really good.. have to give it to the indians.. the last time i jumped while slurping curry away was at loke's house.. he invited our course to his house for last year's deepavali.. another indian again.. they are the experts in curry making and even though i can tahan spices, this was a different ball game altogether.. i cant really describe this feeling, but at the end of the whole experience, i can only say that i really enjoyed the meal..

there are some things u cant use words to describe..

played a car racing game on Vick's X-box and everyone was like challenging each other to haf the fastest timing around the same circuit.. think john was the winner.. cant rem that well.. but then, this gathering also reminded me that perhaps there wont be another such gathering in the near future as a course, the one and only 16th mistral officers' course..

it is becoming sadder as the 8 of us are splitting up, because of the service status and our ord date.. abiel and ben liang is already clearing off/leave; vick will be off in dec, but chances r i wont even get to see him again after i fly off for india; john and zi xuan are in ord-ing mood, though those clowns are gonna disappear only at feb; caleb prob land up in aus, ben tan busy making money in spore, me will prob get to realise my golden dream.. we wont meet each other anytime soon, and perhaps 4 or 5 yrs down the road, when we will meet again, we would change.. some have gf, some getting married, some will drive mercedes, and some will prob just remain the same, clowning around..

like all separations, each separation with a bunch of friends leaves a sour taste behind.. something left hanging and we would be left wanting more and constant updates of each other.. soon, the updates gets less frequent and soon you know it, the next time you see the guy who used to sit beside you or run together with you or play together with you would be either his or your funeral..

so perhaps, just enjoy wat i have in front of me.. which i am trying my best to do it..

still, the hardest separation i encountered so far was when my grandfather passed away.. and i din even get to have one final look..

'the world continues to spin..'

' the world continues to spin' , 1:46 am


Hi, all pple out there.. just testing this out..

' the world continues to spin' , 1:35 am

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